I wanted to write this, not as an angry rant, but just as a dump of statistical data I compiled myself. It is to answer any repetitive questions I keep getting asked, and put my exhaustive efforts in perspective.
I graduated in June of 2018 with a Bachelor’s of Science in Game Design & Production.
Before you try to lecture me on my major choice, let me just hit you with statistical facts.
The game industry had a total revenue of 43.8 BILLION dollars in 2018. Several game companies are being traded on the stock market as I type this.
My major provides skills in Computer Science, Graphic Design, User Experience, Q/A, Project Management, 3D Modeling, Animation, and enough extra skills to fill a CVS receipt. It’s not a degree in “basket weaving”, so politley fuck off.
After combing through all of my confirmation emails, I have applied to about 463 jobs related to the design and gaming field. I know that number isn’t absolutely perfect due to repeated confirmations, and some places not even sending me email confirmation.
I have interviewed with 6 places. 2 places were in person. I had 1 job offer for $15 an hour, that I financially couldn’t take, even if I didn’t think it was a total insult to my intelligence. The memes you see about places offering $15 /hr for someone with a bachelor’s degree is true, and I’m a living example of it.
As I write this, I am 3 thousand dollars behind on my 68k private student loans.
Let me go on record and say, in hindsight, my financial decision to take out private loans was stupid. It was a very foolish thing to do, and I should not have done it.
In defense of my clueless 18 year old self back in 2014, I didn’t care, I knew the game industry was worth billions, and I figured I would land a job shortly after college. I mean 43.8 billion dollars has to “trickle down” somewhere, right? Apparently not.
So let’s attack my resume and portfolio, because obviously I just suck, right? Well to date, I have had 7 major resume revisions, 5 major website updates, and have gotten 8 certifications. On top of which I have 1 graphic design internship, 1 student VR game project – turned studio, and an international marketing/sales start-up that I’m grateful for having the opportunity to participate in. I have had 3 game industry professionals give me feedback for my resume and portfolio. Two of the three, I could message right now on Twitter or LinkedIn and get a message back within the day. Which makes my situation even more frustrating.
Let me be clear. I am grateful for anyone’s time in helping me improve. I am grateful for even getting to have interviews. However, at a certain point, free critique isn’t worth it. I just need a job, not more advice. It is extremely frustrating, and just makes me seem like a horribly impatient and selfish person.
I don’t want to get too much into my personal life, but I basically have my mom for support. That is it. My debt has strained our relationship more than I care to admit. It has strained my relationship with my friends. It has really worn my charisma and social battery down. I don’t have the energy for empty smiles and pretending to be happy anymore.
My father is out of the picture. I don’t have any rich grandparents. Everyone in my family just gets by, and personally, my extended family owes me nothing anyway. That isn’t fair to them, and I would never expect a handout.
I am politically and emotionally a completely different person after college, and this debt has just cemented a lot of the views I started leaning towards. I have more empathy for struggling people than I ever have before. I have more empathy for working class people than I ever have before. Maybe I was just willfully ignorant in my youth, or my mom did such a great job of making sure things were provided for me, that perhaps I didn’t realize how hard she worked.
I started working at a local university full-time, ironically enough, to get a FREE master’s degree in Software Engineering. I make a pathetic 11.25 an hour that is worthless compared to my student loan payment.
Speaking of, I can’t refinance my loan unless I am up to date on my payments, and have made consistent payments for a year. I am 3 months behind and only getting further in debt. They won’t let me refinance, but refuse to work with me, so my late fees just keep piling. I am about to spend my last dollars getting a lawyer. So stop asking me about refinancing my loans. I get the question every week, and it’s hair-pulling.
Something has to be done about student debt, the distribution of wealth, and socialized programs in this country. This country is not even economically close to what it was in the 70s and 80s. I know, because I’ve obsessed over cold war history more than I care to admit haha. Life is economically shit in 2019 for western society.
I am in total support of vocational programs. I am in support of efficiently spending and lowering taxes on the working class. However, everyone needs to realize how fucked they are getting by the ultra wealthy. Trickle down economics is a myth perpetuated to hoard wealth. They have perpetuated race and identity issues to distract us from the gross economic disparity in this country. The middle class is hollowed out, and what’s left is the working poor, and ultra rich. Stop fighting over a “burger flipper making 15 dollars an hour.”, because chances are, your dumbass is being underpaid just as much. The system is broken. Stop fighting for billionaires you’ll statistically never meet and never be as wealthy as. Stop. You look like a fool, and your ignorance is contributing to the collapse of western society as we know it.
Sorry that last part is a bit on the angry rant side, but I am just so fed up. I just need a break, or I need this entire system to break faster, so our generation can fix it properly.
